One of the first pieces of advice I received as a young advisor had to do with how best to serve couples.
Never work with just one spouse without the other one being present. (At least, most of the time.)
As just about any married couple can attest, financial conversations are never just about money. How a couple manages their finances can shape their future, strengthen their relationship, and provide greater confidence.
Sitting on the advisor’s side of the table, financial planning quickly reveals that money is also about how we communicate, share goals, and ensure both partners have a voice in the process.
A Partnership, Not a Solo Journey
Financial planning is an exercise in reverse engineering our goals. First, where do we want to go? Secondly, how can we best manage our wealth to help us arrive there? In the context of marriage, this is innately a two-person discussion. We never want one partner to feel left out, uninformed, or disconnected from the financial decisions that shape their family’s future.
That said, it’s common that one spouse naturally takes the lead in financial matters. That’s perfectly fine, but both should be engaged. We emphasize the importance of making decisions together—whether it’s planning for retirement, making a major purchase, or discussing estate planning strategies. If only one person is driving the process, the other may feel uncertain or disengaged, which can lead to misunderstandings down the road.
Aligning Goals and Managing Differences
Most of the couples we work with share common financial goals—they want to retire confidently, provide for their children, and pursue financial independence. However, that doesn’t mean they always agree on every financial decision.
For instance, one partner may be eager to buy a vacation home, while the other is more
hesitant. Another couple may disagree on how much risk to take in their investment portfolio. Our role is to help both parties understand what’s possible, balance their desires with financial realities, and create a plan that satisfies both perspectives.
Money should be a tool that helps couples pursue their dreams together, not a source of
conflict. By having open conversations and looking at the numbers objectively, our job is to help couples frame decisions accurately and find solutions that work for both individuals.
Planning for the Unexpected
Another thing you learn as an advisor is the value of your financial team, should life’s hard moments happen unexpectedly. We all know families where one spouse primarily managed the money, but then they may have passed away or become disabled with little warning.
We’ve walked through these kinds of scenarios with clients. It’s part of the job. Unequivocally, you want your spouse supported by a financial team if something were to happen to you. We know where everything is, what needs to be done, and how to seek to preserve financial stability.
Losing a spouse is devastating, and the last thing a surviving partner should have to worry about is figuring out financial matters. That’s why we work with couples with the goal of ensuring that both individuals are informed and prepared. Whether it’s managing assets, handling estate planning strategies, or simply knowing where accounts are located, this preparation makes all the difference.
Communication is Key
Ultimately, meaningful financial planning for couples comes down to communication. It’s about making sure that both partners feel heard, informed, and empowered. That’s why we encourage regular financial check-ins—both between the couple and with us. Life changes, and financial plans should evolve accordingly.
At Van Leeuwen & Company, we’re committed to helping couples build a strong financial foundation together. By fostering open conversations, aligning goals, and planning proactively, we help our clients navigate the financial journey of marriage with confidence and clarity.
If you and your spouse haven’t had a detailed conversation about your financial future, now is the perfect time to start. And if you need guidance, we’re here to help every step of the way.